My dear brothers and sisters, in today’s readings we are confronted with the deep and piercing theme of familial persecution when it comes to our love for God.
In the first reading, Saint Paul prays for the recipients of his letter, the Ephesians, to delve deep into Christ’s love and make that their anchor in life, especially to help them navigate through the storms of hatred that are bound to arise on life’s journey.
In today’s gospel, Jesus reminds us that what he came to do and be for us, will ultimately cause division between a believer and non-believer, given the different world views and moral stances that each person espouses. Even more poignant however, is that those sceptics or atheists or secular-minded, may just very well be people belonging to your very own family.
We know from historical records of the many saints who have struggled at the hands of family members and yet remained loyal to Christ, even if it meant being disowned—Francis a case in point.
So now, for the million dollar question… what do we do if a cherished, beloved, and revered family member persecutes us for our faith? We can do a number of things in accordance with the will of God.
First of all, we will need patience. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and hearts aren’t usually transformed over night. It will take time for this family member to see the light, so to speak. If the situation escalates or becomes abusive, consider seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist who understands faith-related conflicts, not to mention your local priest who is there to accompany you through these trials and who represents the entire community that journeys with you in support. Connect with friends, that church community, or support groups who share the true Catholic faith with each other. Insist on sound doctrine, for having a truth-based network of brothers and sisters is essential for strengthening our souls and growing in our relationship with God.
If discussions become too heated or hurtful with a family member, it might be necessary to set boundaries to protect your emotional well-being while still expressing a desire to maintain a relationship with your loved one, something God desires, yet not at the expense of your dignity and integrity. This is what Christ means when he says, “Whoever loves his father or mother more than they love me…” It certainly does not mean that he wants us to love or honour our parents in any way that is less than optimal, but optimal in God’s sense, not in the world’s sense.
Also, try to always respond with love and respect, even in the face of hostility. This can help to create an environment where constructive conversations can happen. Always remember this principle my dear brothers and sisters—pride builds emotional, psychological and spiritual walls that divide us, but humility builds bridges of dialogues that unite us. Notice dialogues is in the plural, meaning this is going to be a continuous process of clear-headed communication.
And finally, as they say, we’ve left the best for last: Remember that your relationship with God is paramount. Lean on His promises and find strength in your faith. All the above pointers will not be possible without prayer which unites us to Christ. “Without me, you can do nothing” – Jesus reminded his apostles. So too it is with us… we need to cling to our Lord through prayer. Let us spend time with him, for it is for him whom we have pledged to endure all kinds of suffering, and not an idea of him, or a book of theology, but for Him, the beautiful, anointed, ever-blessed Almighty God and Father who loves us and is with us in our struggles, especially when they involve a striving for holiness. May our Blessed Mother who knew what it was like to be persecuted, help us to offer all suffering up to God, in union with the sufferings of Christ, for the sake of his body, the Church. And may he bless you always. Amen.
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